When the team is fine, but the leader is not - the state of driver overload
A one common factor hindering the well-being of managers is managerial overload, which often appears where all is well on the outside. The team is stable, performing well, the numbers are good, yet the leader is increasingly tired, impatient and emotionally drained. How does this situation develop, why does it remain invisible for so long and how can coaching be used to restore the leader's equilibrium, even when the environment says „everything is working well”.
When no one asks you „how are you”... only „you'll manage, won't you?”
One of our clients, let's call him Andrew, was a typical example of what we call silent overload.
Your team is stable, worked smoothly, the numbers are good were (sometimes we had a feeling of déjà vu), and according to senior management, he was „that man, who can always be counted on".
Only one thing nobody saw!
Andras went home every night feeling like he had run all day but never finished. The fatigue was not in his face, but in the way he looked - to anyone who could see it in his face - as he became less and less happy about his successes. In the first coaching session, that's all he said:
„It's interesting that when the team is doing well, no one asks how I'm doing.”
Many managers are in the same situation, not only in our country but also abroad. The team works, so the driver's problems go unnoticed. A management overload and it is in this silence that he can deepen.
Why does overload appear when everything is going well?
Steve Jobs once said.
„it's not the loud mistakes that are the most dangerous, but the little things that quietly accumulate”.
So is managerial overload.
This is not a crisis, not a crisis, not a disbanded team.
It is a situation where everything is fine on the outside, or seems to be fine on the outside, but not on the inside.
1. Team stability often depends on the extra work of the leader
Good leaders are often „process backers”. They monitor, guide and polish the operation. This is good, as long as it doesn't become permanent. A management overload is formed at the exact moment when the price of stability will be the leader's own strength.
2. No real feedback from senior management
When the numbers are good, you are less likely to be asked about the driver's condition.
Senior management often assumes that anyone who looks calm and leads a stable team is „okay”.
3. The leader does not want to burden the team with his own difficulties
This is very common.
The leader feels he has to keep everyone, so he does not show weakness.
But this leads to isolation, which is one of the strongest factors in management overload behind.
4. Silence makes the problem go unnoticed
Loud conflicts get everyone's attention.
Not for the silent overload.
How does driver overload manifest itself? - early signs that many people ignore
Congestion is never sudden, but gradual.
The problem is that a good number of managers it is used to withstanding the load, so you won't notice it in time.
Common symptoms:
- morning tiredness
- reduced patience for small errors
- less and less joy in success
- can't sleep because your mind is racing with tasks
- you can't really recharge at the weekend
- withdrawal from the team, emotional distance
- a feeling of constant readiness
Just 2-3 of these signs may indicate that the management overload published.
One of our cases
Real case (anonymous)
Zsófia, a middle manager in a service company, was always precise and predictable. Her team loved her and management appreciated her. When she signed up for coaching, she said, „I'm not bad, it's just that nothing is filling me up.”
The interviews revealed that his overload was not due to the number of tasks, but to the fact that he was constantly holding a safe point, a „support”, towards the team. He helped everyone, he smoothed over any conflict.
When he consciously started to give back some of the responsibility, after three weeks he said, „I can't believe how much energy I have again.”
He didn't reduce the work; he just no longer carried the invisible burden alone.
What does the research say? - HBR and Forbes in brief
According to the Harvard Business Review 2023, 59% of managers feel persistently overwhelmed even during periods when team performance is good.
And an analysis in Forbes points out that those who lead a stable team tend to keep the overload hidden for longer periods of time because they „need to keep the team in good shape”.
On the basis of these management overload often not visible from the outside, only from the inside.
Why does it remain invisible? - Tim Ferriss' view
Tim Ferriss often writes that „the system does not break down when we see a failure, but when it is too late and there is no time to fix it”.
Executive overload is just how it works.
1. The driver gets used to being a lot of fun
It's like lifting a slightly heavier weight every day. You don't feel the increasing load, you just let it go once.
2. The team does not see the internal pressure
The decisions, responsibilities and tensions behind the curtain are not visible from the outside.
3. The leader has no space to put his thoughts down
There is no conversation or supportive environment where he or she can be „only human”.
How can coaching help reduce managerial overload?
Coaching is powerful in that there is finally a space where the leader can say what is difficult.
This is much more healing than it sounds at first.
During coaching:
- it becomes clear again what is really the job of the leader
- simple steps (Tim Ferriss style) to reduce mental stress
- we learn to give back the responsibility that does not belong to the leader
- a healthy distance between the team and the leader is restored
- your energy and ease of decision making returns
This does not mean „more rest”, but less hidden burden.
The most common causes of driver overload
| Ok | Short description |
|---|---|
| Invisible extra tasks | Under the surface, the driver makes lots of small, quick decisions that no one sees. |
| Excessive liability | Taking on the emotional and professional burden of a team is exhausting in the long run. |
| No supportive environment | The driver does not get real feedback on how he is doing. |
What can you do if you know yourself? Practical, simple steps
1. Have a weekly or, if you can fit it in, 30 minutes a day of „driver maintenance”
It can be a walk, a half hour of looking at the calendar, or a reflection, not on fire-fighting, but on what really makes sense.
2. Give some of the quick decisions back to the team
Not all questions require a managerial response.
This often saves half an hour a day.
3. Find a safe space for your thoughts
This could be a training partner or a professional.
Bottom line: don't carry the burden alone.
4. Look at what you want to keep and what you want to let go
Overwork often comes from the manager holding on too long to tasks that no longer belong to him or her.
Where can you find help?
If you want a supportive professional environment where you can put down the burden and build a new system for yourself, you should check these out:
Organisational development - https://CoachLab.hu/szervezetfejlesztes-coachlab/
Leadership development, leadership coaching - https://CoachLab.hu/executive-coaching/
Personal coaching, Budapest's best coach (TOP 15) - https://coachbp.hu/
Looking for a different type of professional?
Check this out too:
Here you can search for coaches if the above is not right for you or your company: https://www.coachkereso.hu
Questions and answers
What is the essence of driver overload?
Managerial overload occurs when a manager carries too much unseen burden and makes too many decisions when everything seems fine on the outside.
What are the early signs of management overload?
Fatigue, irritability, difficulty making decisions, reduced enjoyment of work, sleep problems and emotional distance from the team.
Why does congestion stay hidden for so long?
Because the stability of the team masks the leader's inner tension, and the environment rarely questions the leader's true state.
How can coaching help?
Coaching provides a safe space for the leader to talk out his or her burdens, give back unnecessary responsibilities and build a new system.
