Not good at self-marketing either? Guess what! How can you improve in this area?
When we have to talk about the merits of others, we often gush, enthusiastically extolling their achievements and abilities. But when it comes to putting ourselves first, we suddenly become silent or uncomfortable. This phenomenon is extremely common - especially among people who would otherwise have excellent leadership skills.
What is self-marketing like?
Self-marketing or self-advertising is a set of conscious activities in which an individual builds and communicates his or her own values, skills, achievements and personal brand to the outside world. In essence, it is the"selling, marketing" and positioning of oneself in one's professional or personal life.
The key elements of self-marketing:
1. Personal branding
It involves identifying and highlighting the unique qualities, values and competences that set us apart from others. What do we want people to immediately associate with our name or person?
2. Communicating of values and results
Our ability to speak effectively and convincingly about our own achievements, successes and professional experience without sounding pretentious or discredited.
3. Establishing an online and offline presence
Conscious management of professional online profiles (like LinkedIn / e.g. Rob's coach LinkedIn page/, professional website, blog) and the image created by personal appearances, presentations, comments, publications.
4. Building and maintaining relationships
Building and maintaining a strategic network of relationships that support our professional goals and increase our visibility in the field.
5. Positioning
Positioning ourselves in the professional hierarchy and market - what we offer, what makes us special or unique, what problems we solve effectively.
The paradox of self-marketing
Guess what, I wasn't good at it either, and even today I'm not as good as someone who has it "in their blood or absorbed it through breast milk" but I'm working hard at it. I admit it's not easy!
To use my own example, "To this day, with many years of senior management background behind me, I am still learning, coaching and self-coaching myself to be able to speak and write about myself in the same professional, uplifting and extra positive way as I would about any of my team members or subordinates. That means I can market others very professionally! I can be highly recognised, acknowledged, praised and outwardly shown for my achievements or even just for myself, but also for my merits."
This testimony perfectly sums up the inner struggle that many of us experience. As leaders, we are able to notice, appreciate and highlight the achievements of others, but when it comes to making a similarly positive statement about ourselves, something holds us back.
The question is why this dichotomy exists and how can we change it?
Why do we struggle with self-marketing?
Cultural background? Cultural context?
In Hungary (and in many other Central European countries) modesty has traditionally been a great value. From childhood we were taught "not to boast", "not to attract attention". These cultural norms are ingrained in us and influence our behaviour later on as adults. But we are trying to improve and change this today, as the world has opened up, including through globalisation.
Here is an example of my own:
I have a very good example of my own cultural background. When I did one of my MBAs or graduated from university, we went abroad and others came here. And a good example of that is the American students. A lot of you know this, you know this because I mentioned it several times to similar questions. And it's not true, of course, especially you can't draw conclusions from it or generalize, but it's a highlighted but good example of the cultural issue above.
When the students from the USA were here in Hungary, and we were given a group assignment at the university, we Hungarians put our heads down and were breathless, that we had to work on the assignment again...
Does this sound familiar?
What was the attitude of the American students?
What do you think? Hooray for optimism! No kidding, they were happy to work on a great task with their team and in competition with the Hungarians... I could go on and on, but the point is that everyone did the task and well, expected or not expected, there was a big difference in level, quality, depth of workmanship and almost everything. Of course the performance, the presentation was a very stark contrast.
Can you guess?
Based on the above, that is, in the first part, in short, we were indeed an order of magnitude better in quality, while the presentation, that is, how we presented it and how good the task marketing or self-marketing was, tipped the scales in favour of the American students.
That is, we did it very professionally and very well, but we could not perform it professionally and with the same level of pride as our foreign students, even though we did it professionally, which they did not do badly, but much less well. Enough of the example, because, among other things, the next point of the paper certainly held us Hungarians back...
Fear of being judged
Many people are afraid that if they talk too much about their achievements, others will think they are arrogant or conceited. This fear is often unfounded, but it is still a very real obstacle.
The impact of impostor syndrome
"More of us are like that" - and indeed, impostor syndrome is particularly prevalent among managers. It describes the phenomenon where someone, regardless of their actual success, feels they don't deserve their position and fears that others will "expose" them.
Of course, behind this can also be knowing that we already know so much about something that we feel as if it is so little that others must know more. And, of course, this is not by accident.
The dilemma of credibility
At the other extreme is when someone "advertises himself as much more than he has achieved, or even what he is worth". This kind of excessive self-promotion can backfire in the long run and undermine trust. Finding the right balance is key.
Why is self-marketing important?
Career development
Being able to communicate our values and achievements is essential for career progression. If we do not, others will not do it for us.
Business opportunities
Especially as an entrepreneur, freelancer or manager, it is critical to be able to "sell" ourselves and our competences effectively.
Building professional credibility
Presenting ourselves well strengthens our professional credibility and helps us to be taken seriously by others.
Setting an example
As leaders, we also set an example to our team on how to evaluate their own work and communicate their results.
Ways to develop self-marketing
1. Coaching as an effective tool
"What I know for sure about coaching is that it can be very effective, but of course you need a client who is willing to work hard with the coach on this..."
Coaching can indeed be an excellent tool for developing self-marketing. A good coach can help:
- To recognise our own values and strengths
- Processing deep-rooted inhibitions and fears
- Develop effective communication strategies
- Practise in different situations in a protected environment
2. Work with self-knowledge
The first step is always to developing self-awareness. We cannot "sell" ourselves effectively if we are not clear about our own values.
Practical tip:
Make a detailed inventory of your professional successes, even the smallest ones. Write down the challenges we faced, how we overcame them and what we achieved. This list is not only about self-confidence but also as concrete material for future self-presentation.
3. Collecting and processing feedback
External feedback can be extremely valuable, as others often see our strengths better than we do.
A practical tip for our customers:
Ask for structured feedback from colleagues, superiors, subordinates using the 360-degree evaluation method. Organise the information received and use it to enhance your self-awareness.
4. Finding the right communication style
Authentic self-marketing is not the same as bragging. The goal is to find a style that is factual, authentic and personal.
Practical tip:
Collect examples of people who we think communicate their own achievements effectively, without appearing boastful. Note what language they use, what proportion of their talk is about themselves and their team, how they frame their successes.
5. Progressive practice
Like all skills, self-marketing can be developed with practice.
Practical tip:
Start in a smaller, safer environment - for example, among friends or at less important professional events. Gradually increase the stakes as you become more confident.
6. Building an authentic personal brand
The long-term goal is to create a personal brand that reflects our true values and professional identity.
Practical tip:
Identify the key values and competences that you want to be associated with your name. Develop a consistent communication strategy around these, which will be reflected across all platforms - from our LinkedIn profile to conference presentations.
Finding the balance
"That said, for those who are not strong in this, I have good news, it can be learned and improved." - Rob
The goal is not to suddenly change our communication style completely, but to find a balance that is comfortable and authentic for us, while at the same time professionally beneficial. And this is very important, because if we overdo it, we can put our need for this kind of development on the back burner for life, so be sensible!
Credibility vs. visibility
Credibility always comes before mere visibility. Too much self-promotion can easily backfire, especially in the long run. At the same time, excessive modesty can also hamper our careers.
Results vs. personality
Effective self-marketing focuses on results, not personality. We need to communicate not "what wonderful people we are", but what concrete value we have created.
Individual vs. team results
"Many like to claim the merits of others as their own achievements. Is that right? Not 100%, but definitely not in my opinion!" - Rob
I've worked with more than one senior colleague like that, so there are negative examples not to be followed (of course, I should add that many people have achieved good positions this way, and have been stepped on downwards in the process) - well, it's everyone's own decision, but it doesn't fit into my world at all.
As a leader, it is important to find a balance between communicating individual and team results. It is indeed unethical to misappropriate the successes of your team - but it is also important to recognise your own leadership role in those successes.
Self-coaching as a tool
If an external coachis not available, self-coaching methods can also help with personal development.
Practical tip:
Keep a regular (for example weekly) reflective diary to record:
- Professional successes in a given period
- The positive feedback we have received
- Situations where you have managed to communicate your value effectively
- Situations where self-assertion has been difficult
- Specific development objectives in this area for the next period.
And the bottom line is...
The ability to self-market is not an innate gift, but a skill that can be learned and developed. As the thought quoted at the beginning of this article shows, even experienced managers are working on this.
Our cultural background, personal experiences and the patterns we have learned throughout our lives all influence our ability to talk confidently about our achievements. But with coaching, self-awareness work and conscious practice, we can make significant progress!
The goal is not to go to the other end of the scale and over-promote, but to find an authentic and balanced communication style that allows you to present your professional values in the right way.
After all, as the saying goes, "If you don't speak for yourself, others won't speak for you. And ultimately, this is the only way to ensure that our professional value is truly recognized.
Frequently Asked Questions about Self-marketing
Why is it that many managers find it difficult to "sell" themselves while representing their team excellently?
This paradox is the result of several factors. On the one hand, the cultural background (modesty is a strong value, especially in Hungary and Central Europe), and on the other hand, the impostor syndrome, which makes many people feel that they are not worthy enough of their position. As leaders, we often find it difficult to emphasize our own merits because we are used to focusing on the achievements of the team. In addition, many people fear being perceived as arrogant or boastful if they emphasize their own accomplishments.
What are the most effective ways to develop self-marketing skills?
The most effective self-marketing development methods include coaching (either with the help of an external coach or in the form of self-coaching), self-awareness work (systematic mapping of your own successes and values), collecting and processing structured feedback, gradual practice in a safe environment, and consciously building an authentic personal brand. It is also important to keep a regular reflective diary in which we record our successes and areas for improvement.
What is the difference between authentic self-marketing and bragging?
Authentic self-marketing is factual, results-based and relevant to the situation. It addresses not only ourselves but also the role of our team and acknowledges the contribution of others. Bragging, on the other hand, makes exaggerated claims, misappropriates team results, is done in an irrelevant context and often devalues the role of others. The goal of authentic self-marketing is not to brag, but to demonstrate our true value and competencies in a way that provides useful information to others.
How can we find the right balance between excessive modesty and excessive self-promotion?
To find balance, we first need to know our own values and achievements. It is important to focus our communication on concrete facts and results, not on general positive statements about ourselves. It's worth observing role models who we think manage this balance well. Choosing the right context is also important: there are situations (e.g. job interviews, promotion meetings) where we are explicitly expected to talk about our achievements. It can be useful to seek external feedback on how our self-presentation affects others.
What are the specific career benefits of advanced self-marketing skills?
Developing self-marketing skills has many benefits: it increases our visibility in the professional community, helps us to get career opportunities (promotion, new job, projects), strengthens our negotiating position for a salary increase or promotion, gives us more credibility in management, helps us to build the right network of contacts and increases our self-confidence. And as an entrepreneur or freelancer, it can be vital for your livelihood. In the longer term, conscious and authentic self-marketing can build a personal brand that opens doors and attracts professional opportunities.
