Secrets of the best coaches: skills, methods and approach that set you apart from the rest
I'm sure you've also encountered the question of how to find the best coach for you-ot, or maybe you are working on becoming an outstanding coach yourself. There are an almost infinite number of trends, approaches and methodologies in the world of coaching, making it difficult to know who is truly outstanding in the profession. In this article, we will dive into some of the qualities, skills and attitudes, which are distinguish the best coaches, and help you either in your choices or in your own development.
What makes someone a truly outstanding coach?
Excellent coaching is not just a set of techniques, but a complex set of skills and attitudes that develop in tandem with personality. How to be a best coach to become one, a number of factors need to come together - and not just the oft-mentioned professional qualifications.
Essential characteristics that make someone the best coach
The most important characteristic of the best coaches is their ability to create a safe space for development. This means not only that the relationship is confidential, but also that the client can really open up, even sharing their deepest fears or doubts without feeling judged.
Outstanding coaches have highly developed emotional intelligence. They are able to recognise, understand and manage both their own and their clients' emotions. This ability allows them to see beneath the surface and uncover patterns that are often hidden from the client.
It is important to stress that the best coach is not necessarily the one who knows the most methods. Rather, the coach who can achieve the most profound impact with his or her client. And this is not primarily technique-dependent, but depends on the quality of the relationship and presence.
7 distinguishing features of the best coach
1. Exceptional presence and active attention
One of the most important qualities of the best coaches is the ability to be fully present. When they work with you, they focus on you 100%. They don't just listen, they really hear you - they listen to your words, your tone of voice, your body language, even what you don't say.
"Coaching is not about solutions, but about attention, which creates space for the client's own solutions" - as it is often said in the profession. Exceptional presence means that the coach is able to put aside his or her own thoughts, preconceptions and solutions in order to tune in completely.
The best coaches give the impression that nothing is more important to them at that moment than you and your subject. This is not a technique to be learned, but a skill that can only be achieved through regular practice and self-improvement.
2. Sophisticated questioning techniques
The point of coaching is not to give advice, but to ask questions that lead you to new insights. The best coaches are masters at asking questions. Not only do they know the structural structure of effective questions, but they intuitively sense when what type of question moves you forward.
Effective questions are always open-ended (no yes or no answers), simple and clear, and move you forward, not into the past. The best coach's questions are often surprising and unexpected - they open up perspectives you might not have thought of yourself.
For example, instead of asking, "Why couldn't you solve this problem?", an excellent coach might ask, "What is the most courageous thing you could do in this situation?" Can you feel the difference? The first question sticks in the past and makes you defensive, while the second looks forward and opens up possibilities.
3. Systems thinking and holistic vision
While the average coach often focuses on the specific problem at hand, the best coaches are able to see the bigger picture. They know that every challenge is part of a bigger system, whether it's your personality, family dynamics or organisational structures.
This systems approach allows them to address not only the symptom but also the root causes. For example, if you're talking about a career change, an outstanding coach will not only focus on specific job opportunities, but also help you uncover your values, your passions, and how all of these fit into other areas of your life.
A holistic approach also means that the best coaches take into account different aspects of your life - your career, your relationships, your health, your financial situation - and help you understand how they interact.
4. Balance between challenge and support
The mediocre coach often falls into the trap of being either too "soft" and supportive or too hard and challenging. The best coaches, on the other hand, are masters at finding the right balance.
They know when to hold you and provide security, and when to gently but firmly challenge you. It is this kind of "supportive challenge" that leads to real growth. It's like a coach encouraging and pushing you to perform better at the same time.
The best coach recognises that stepping out of your comfort zone is key to progress, but also knows that too much challenge can be paralysing. That's why he can fine-tune the pressure so that it's just enough to help you grow, but without causing undue stress.
5. Adaptive methodology and tools
Although it was mentioned earlier that it is not the variety of methods that makes someone a great coach, it is essential that the best coaches have a wide range of tools to choose from, depending on the situation and the person.
Outstanding coaches do not rigidly adhere to a single methodology or school. They know the strengths of different coaching styles (such as solution-focused, narrative, cognitive-behavioural or transformational coaching) and are flexible to switch between them according to your needs.
This doesn't mean that they use a different technique every time - it's more about their ability to personalise their approach. Like a good chef who knows exactly what spices go with a particular dish, the best coach will have a feel for what interventions will best serve your development.
6. Continuous self-development and self-reflection
One of the most distinguishing characteristics of excellent coaches is that they are as committed to their own development as they are to supporting their clients. They regularly participate in training, supervision and their own coaching processes.
It is this kind of self-reflective attitude that allows them to avoid blind spots and constantly refine their skills. The best coaches know that their personal development directly affects the quality of their work.
As the old saying goes, "You can't take someone to a place you've never been to yourself." The best coaches take their own journey, face their own challenges, and that authenticity shines through in their work with you.
7. Authenticity and ethical operation
Last but by no means least, truly outstanding coaches are imbued with authenticity and a high ethical standard. They do not play a role, they do not try to be perfect and they do not promise more than they can give.
Being ethical also means knowing your limits and knowing when to refer a client, for example if they need therapy instead of coaching. This kind of honesty and integrity is essential to building a trusting relationship.
The best coaches aren't afraid to be vulnerable when it's appropriate, and it's this authenticity that allows them to develop a real connection with you.
How to choose the best coach for you?
Now that we've reviewed the key characteristics of outstanding coaches, let's look at how to choose the best coach for you. Because believe me, this could be one of the most important decisions for your development!
Clarify your goals and expectations
Before you even start looking for the best coach, it is important to be clear about the nature of your own goals. Different coaches specialise in different areas - some excel in leadership development, others in career change, life coaching or even business development.
Ask yourself: What do I want to achieve through the coaching process? In what areas do I need support? Do I want to develop specific skills or do I want deeper, transformative change? Your answers will help you narrow the field and find the best coach for you.
Understand the importance of chemistry
Coaching is an intensive process based on a trusting relationship. No matter how skilled and experienced a coach is, if you don't have chemistry with him or her, you are unlikely to have a successful working relationship.
Most professional coaches offer a free or discounted introductory chat. Take advantage of this opportunity to meet more potential coaches! Listen to your gut instinct: Do you feel safe with him? Do you feel that he really listens to you? Do you find the conversation inspiring?
Remember, the best coach for you is someone you can connect with, someone you trust and someone you feel motivated to change with.
Check your qualifications and experience (CoachKereso)
Although the coaching profession is still less regulated than, for example, psychotherapy, coaches with serious training have professional accreditation, for example the umbrella organisation for the coaching profession in Hungary, the Association of Hungarian Coach Organisations, which is the umbrella organisation of the Hungarian coaching profession, and with which we are actively working on Hungarian Coach Association of which we are also members. These organisations monitor and certify coaches with officially certified and recognised qualifications or even the most advanced university level coaching diploma.A CoachLab Coachai also graduate coaches).
So these organisations and associations can also provide a good filter for finding qualified coaches, or even a website for finding, filtering and selecting coaches in Hungary, the CoachKereso.hu is also a perfect starting point for this, the latter for example allows coaches to present themselves in more detail, which can also help in the selection process.
These organisations impose strict codes of ethics and professional standards on their members. The best coaches are usually proud of their qualifications and professional memberships, but even more important is real experience, not just coaching experience, but also knowledge, practice and experience in other areas, in addition to client evaluations and feedback.
Check the potential coach's references, qualifications, case studies or ask for recommendations from people you know who have worked with him or her. And usually it is true that the cheapest coach is not the best.
In addition, often the best coaches will be happy to share with you their past success stories and other work experiences related to your field... (subject to confidentiality, of course).
Pay attention to specialisation
Although many coaches work with a general methodology, the best ones often specialise in specific areas or target groups. This may be a specific industry (e.g. coaching IT managers), life situation (career change, leadership transition) or skills to be developed (e.g. communication, decision-making).
Specialisation means that the coach has deeper knowledge and experience in the field, so they can support you more effectively. If you're looking for a coach with a specific challenge or goal, it's worth considering professionals who are skilled in the subject.
Assess the coach's approach to development
The best coaches never think they know it all. Ask how a potential coach develops himself! Do you regularly attend training courses? Do you have your own supervisor or mentor? Do you read literature and follow the latest research in the field of coaching?
This speaks volumes not only about his professionalism, but also about his commitment to continuous improvement - a core value of coaching.
The path to excellence: how can you become the best coach yourself?
If you are a coach yourself, or want to become one, you will be interested to know how to reach the level of professional excellence. Here are some key steps that can help you become one of the best coaches:
Invest in solid foundations
The journey to becoming a coach starts with the right training. Choose an accredited coach training course that not only teaches techniques, but also imparts the approach and ethics of coaching. ICF-accredited programmes are generally of a high standard.
But the real learning starts after the training. The best coaches are constantly developing their skills through a variety of means - workshops, conferences, textbooks and peer-learning groups.
Practice, practice, practice
As in any skills-based profession, coaching requires practice. You can even offer free or reduced-fee services initially to gain experience. Every client, every situation, presents a new learning opportunity.
The role of quantity in the development of quality work should not be underestimated. Malcolm Gladwell popularised the "10,000-hour rule", which states that this is the amount of practice needed to achieve mastery in any field. While this is not a rigid rule, it does illustrate that achieving excellence takes time and commitment.
Find supervision and mentoring
The best coaches regularly take part in supervision sessions, where they can reflect on their work and identify their blind spots with the help of an experienced professional. Supervision is not a luxury, but an essential part of professionalism.
It can also be useful to have the support of a mentor coach who has been down the path you are on. A mentor can not only help you learn the ropes, but can also give you valuable insights into how the coaching profession works.
Work on your own development
The journey to becoming the best coach is also an inner journey. The more deeply you know yourself, the more effectively you can support others. Subject yourself to the same development processes you offer your clients.
This may involve participating in a personal coaching process, therapy or practising different self-awareness methods. The ability to self-reflect, to recognise your own patterns and reactions is essential for excellent coaching.
Develop your emotional intelligence
Developing emotional intelligence is perhaps the most important investment you can make as a future coach. It involves recognising and managing your own emotions, as well as perceiving and responding appropriately to the emotions of others.
Emotional intelligence is not an innate ability - it can be developed with conscious practice and attention. It is worth attending training courses and workshops that focus specifically on this.
Find your own voice and style
Although you can learn a lot from other coaches and different methodologies, the best coaches don't simply imitate the style of others. Over time, they find their own unique voice and approach.
It's not about inventing Spanish - it's about combining the techniques and approaches you learn with your own personality, values and strengths. Authenticity appeals to clients and allows you to coach in a way that energises you.
Summary: What makes the best coach truly excellent?
As you have seen, becoming the best coach or finding the best coach for you is a complex process. It is not simply a matter of learning techniques or collecting diplomas, but a complex and constantly evolving set of skills and attitudes.
The best coaches have exceptional presence and attention. They are masters of questioning and systems thinking. They know when to support you and when to challenge you. They are flexible in their use of different methods, constantly improving themselves, and always authentic and ethical.
Whether you're looking for coaching or are a coach, these considerations can help you get to grips with what makes someone truly outstanding in this wonderful profession. Because ultimately, the essence of coaching is not in the techniques, but in the relationship and the transformative space in which you are free to explore and unleash your potential.
The best coach is not someone who tells you what to do, but someone who helps you find your own answers and encourages you to dare to act on them. Because that is what coaching is all about - helping others to discover and realise their own greatness.
I hope this article will be a useful guide for you, whether you are looking for a coach or working in the profession. Remember, development is a continuous journey, not a destination. Enjoy every step of the way!
What experience do you have in coaching? What do you think makes someone a really good coach? Let us know what you think in the comments!
5 Frequently asked questions about choosing the best coach
How can I tell a good coach from an excellent one?
There are several important differences between a good coach and an excellent (best) coach. While a good coach applies coaching techniques appropriately and helps you achieve your goals, the best coach does much more than that. An excellent coach has exceptional emotional intelligence and presence, can make real breakthroughs in your thinking, can see your situation holistically and use his or her intuition to ask questions that lead to deeper insights. The best coaches have a sense of continuous self-improvement and personal authenticity, and the ability to be completely attuned to you, while being able to challenge you out of your comfort zone.
How important is the coach's specialisation and qualification when choosing a coach?
Although the professional background and education of the coach is an important factor (it is worth choosing a coach with a coaching degree or some kind of accreditation), this alone is no guarantee of excellence. Specialisation is important if you are looking for support in a specific area, such as leadership development, career change or sales development, business development. In such cases, it can be an advantage if the coach is familiar with, or even has practical experience of, the challenges in the area. However, in many cases the coach's core skills and chemistry are more important than specific industry knowledge. The best coach can quickly see through different situations and adapt their methods to your specific needs.
How long does it take to achieve results in the coaching process?
The duration of the coaching process and the results it produces depend largely on the objectives and the starting point. For smaller, specific goals, change can be noticeable after 3-5 sessions, while deeper, transformative processes typically require 6-12 months of collaboration. The best coaches will help you to develop insights that can be applied immediately after the first session, but longer-term, lasting change usually requires more time. Importantly, coaching is not a 'quick fix' but a developmental process where you gradually build new skills and ways of thinking.
What is the difference between a coach, a mentor and a therapist?
This is a common question, as all three professionals play a supporting role, but with significant differences. The coach does not give advice or share his or her own experiences - instead, he or she asks questions to help you find your own solutions and focuses on future-oriented goals. A mentor, on the other hand, shares his or her expertise, gives advice and concrete guidance. A therapist helps people to work through past events and traumas, often using a diagnostic approach. The best coaches are aware of these boundaries and know when to steer the client towards therapeutic support if the situation calls for it.
How do I know if the coaching process is worth the investment?
It is difficult to measure the return on investment of coaching in concrete numbers, but there are clear signs that show its effectiveness. For example, if you can see new perspectives on previous challenges, if you can make concrete decisions where you were previously stuck, if your self-awareness and self-awareness improve, or if you experience lasting behavioural change. The best coaches will help you to set success metrics early in the process and reflect with you regularly on your progress. Many people report that one of the greatest values of coaching is the clarity and confidence they gain in the process - long-term benefits that go far beyond the time and money invested.
