Frequently Asked Questions about Confidence; and the Answers

Frequently Asked Questions about Confidence; and the Answers

1. What is self-confidence and how is it different from self-esteem?

Answer: Self-confidence and self-esteem are related but different concepts. From self-confidence first and foremost, belief in our abilities, which refers to the confidence we have in our ability to successfully deal with tasks or situations. This can often be domain-specific (e.g. professional self-confidence, social self-confidence).

The self-esteem is a broader concept that refers to our value judgements about ourselves - how valuable and likeable we think we are, regardless of our performance. Healthy self-esteem is the foundation of self-confidence, because if we feel fundamentally valuable, we can more easily develop self-confidence in specific areas.

2. Is self-confidence an inherited trait or can it be developed?

Answer: The self-confidence first for development a psychological trait, not an innate, fixed characteristic. Although genetic factors can influence temperament and certain personality traits that can affect self-confidence (e.g. extraversion, emotional reactivity), self-confidence is largely learned and malleable.

The development of self-confidence is strongly influenced by childhood experiences, upbringing, peer feedback and the successes and failures we experience in our lives. The good news is that it can be effectively developed in adulthood with the right strategies, exercises and even therapeutic help.

3. How can I recognise low self-confidence?

Answer: There are many signs of low self-confidence to recognise:

• Continuous self-criticism and self-evaluation
• Excessive desire to conform and dependence on the approval of others
• Difficulties in decision-making, frequent uncertainty
• Prolonged discouragement after failures, overestimation of mistakes
• Difficulty in accepting praise and recognition
• Avoiding confrontation and conflict
• Constant comparison with others
• Perfectionism or the complete avoidance of challenges
• Body language: body posture contracted, weak eye contact
• General presence of the feeling of "I'm not good enough"

If you have more than one of these, you may want to work on improving your self-confidence.

4. What is the difference between healthy self-confidence and narcissism?

Answer: There are fundamental differences between healthy self-confidence and narcissism:

Characteristics of healthy self-confidence:

• Realistic self-assessment, awareness of your own strengths and weaknesses
• Ability to recognise mistakes and learn from them
• Empathy and honest appreciation of the successes of others
• Openness to feedback
• Self-esteem based on inner values

Characteristics of narcissism:

• Unrealistically positive self-esteem, overestimation of own importance
• Difficulty in admitting mistakes, blaming others
• Lack of empathy, ignoring the feelings of others
• Over-sensitivity to criticism, defensiveness or attack
• Unstable self-esteem requiring constant external validation

The key difference is that healthy self-confidence is not built at the expense of others, and goes hand in hand with the ability to be self-critical.

5. What are the most effective ways to increase self-confidence?

Answer; There are several scientifically proven methods to improve self-confidence:

• Cognitive reframing: Recognising negative thought patterns and transforming them into more realistic thoughts.
• A strategy for small successes: Setting and achieving small, achievable goals, gradually moving towards bigger challenges.
• Skills development: Progress in areas that are important to us.
• Exercising self-awareness: Developing kindness and understanding towards ourselves, especially in times of difficulty.
• Physical activity: Regular exercise has been shown to improve self-esteem.
• Develop assertiveness: Learning to express our own needs and limits in a healthy way.
• Helping others: Helping others increases our sense of our own worth.
• Building positive social relationships: Fostering relationships with supportive people.
• Professional help: Therapy or coaching, especially for deep-rooted problems.

The effectiveness of the methods depends on the individual situation and the initial level of self-confidence.

6. How does social media affect self-confidence?

Answer: Social media can have a complex impact on self-confidence:

Negative effects:

• Constant comparison with the idealised lives of others ("social comparison")
• Reinforcing unrealistic standards of "perfection"
• Becoming addicted to likes and feedback
• Online bullying and the possibility of negative comments
• Replacing real relationships with superficial interactions

Possible positive effects:

• A sense of belonging to a community, especially for marginalised groups
• Access inspiring content and self-development resources
• Finding supportive communities of people with similar challenges
• A platform to express your strengths and values

Conscious social media use is key to maintaining self-confidence: it's worth being selective about which sites you follow, doing a regular digital detox and being aware that others are sharing their best moments.

7. Is there a link between self-confidence and success?

Answer: There is a two-way relationship between self-confidence and success:

On the one hand, higher self-confidence often leads to greater success because:

• We are taking on more challenges and risks
• We are more persistent in times of difficulty
• Communicate our values and skills more effectively
• We make a more positive impression on others

On the other hand, success boosts self-confidence:

• They give concrete evidence of our abilities
• Increase the sense of self-efficacy
• Developing resilience

However, it is important to note that overconfidence can also have a negative impact if it leads to unrealistic risk-taking or neglect of preparation. The ideal is a realistic self-confidence that allows for the effort and preparation needed to achieve success.

8. How can I help my child develop healthy self-confidence?

Answer: To develop healthy self-confidence in children, there are several aspects to consider:

• Providing unconditional love: The child needs to feel valued and loved, regardless of his or her performance.
• Praise for effort rather than results: "You worked really hard on this" is more valuable than "How smart you are!"
• Providing realistic feedback: Honest but supportive feedback helps the child to develop a realistic self-esteem.
• Promoting autonomy and competence: Providing appropriate tasks where the child can experience his/her own effectiveness.
• Developing resilience: Conveying that mistakes and failures are a natural part of learning.
• Setting healthy boundaries: Consistent, loving boundaries give a sense of security.
• Developing our own self-confidence: Parents are a model for their children in how to relate to themselves.
• Avoiding overfishing: Giving the child the opportunity to experience challenges and solve problems independently.

Developing self-confidence is a long process that may require a different approach at each stage of childhood.

9. How does perfectionism affect self-confidence?

Answer: Perfectionism tends to have a negative impact on self-confidence:

Negative effects:

• Unrealistically high expectations that are impossible or extremely difficult to meet
• Overestimating mistakes and perceiving failures as personal failures
• The "all or nothing" mindset (if it's not perfect, it's worthless)
• Constant dissatisfaction and inability to enjoy success
• Postponing the initiative for fear of failure
• Constant comparison with others, linking self-assessment to external standards

However, there are adaptive perfectionism which means setting high standards but being flexible, accepting mistakes and enjoying the process. This kind of perfectionism can support self-confidence and progress.

To deal with perfectionism, it is important to reframe thought patterns, practice self-compassion and recognise that perfection is not a realistic or necessary goal.

10. Can therapy or self-development damage self-confidence?

Answer: Although the basic aim of therapy and self-improvement is to increase self-confidence and well-being, in some cases it can also temporarily reduce self-confidence:

• The process of introspection can reveal previously suppressed problems or feelings
• Deeper awareness can initially amplify negative self-evaluation
• The process of change often involves discomfort and uncertainty
• Self-development programmes can create unrealistic expectations of rapid change

However, this is usually a temporary phenomenon that can be seen as a "therapeutic depth" or a natural part of development. The long-term result is usually the development of a more stable, realistic self-confidence.

Effective therapy or self-improvement:

• Aiming for gradual change
• Recognises the challenges of the process
• Provides adequate support in difficult times
• It seeks a balance between full acceptance and progress

With the help of a qualified therapist or coach, this process can be safer and more effective.

11. What is the relationship between self-confidence and mental health?

Answer: Self-confidence and mental health influence each other:

The impact of self-confidence on mental health:

• Healthy self-confidence is a protective factor against anxiety and depressive disorders
• Promotes more effective stress management and resilience
• Promotes the development and maintenance of healthy relationships
• Reduces social anxiety and withdrawn behaviour

The impact of mental health problems on self-confidence:

• Depression is typically associated with negative self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness
• Anxiety disorders can undermine confidence in your own abilities
• Traumatic experiences often lead to a loss of self-confidence
• Addictions and self-harm behaviours may be linked to low self-esteem

Improving mental health and developing self-confidence are often parallel processes. In therapy, improvements in one usually have a positive impact on the other.

12. How to maintain self-confidence when changing jobs or careers?

Answer: A change of job or career can be a particular test of self-confidence. Some effective strategies at this time:

• Inventory of skills and strengths: Be aware of the skills and qualities that are valuable in different situations.
• Identifying transferable skills: Identify which of your previous experience and skills can be applied in the new field.
• Gradual transition: If possible, plan for a gradual transition (part-time, voluntary work, courses).
• Developing a learning approach: Let us see transition as an opportunity for progress, not as a threat.
• Building a support network: Find mentors and contacts in the new area.
• Set smaller goals: In times of transition, it is particularly important to ensure a rapid experience of success.
• Self-reflection and journaling: It helps you to process feelings and lessons learned and to monitor progress.
• Remembering past successes: Let's remind ourselves that we have successfully adapted to new situations before.

It is important to recognise that a temporary loss of confidence is a natural reaction to significant change and does not mean that you will not be successful in your new field.

13. What is the difference between real confidence and "pretend" confidence?

Answer: There are several important differences between real and "pretend" self-confidence:

Characteristics of real self-confidence:

• It comes from inner conviction
• Perseveres in the face of challenges and setbacks
• Does not require permanent external reinforcement
• It involves accepting vulnerability and acknowledging not knowing
• Manifested in natural, non-coercive behaviour
• It also enables support and recognition of others

Characteristics of "feigned" self-confidence:

• Relying on external recognition and approval
• It is easy to collapse under stress or failure
• Can manifest as overcompensation (loudness, dominance)
• Difficulty admitting mistakes or lack of knowledge
• Often manifested in rigid or exaggerated behaviour
• It can lead to competition and the belittling of others

Interestingly, the "act as if" strategy can be temporarily useful if used consciously to build self-confidence. Research shows that practising assertive behaviour can gradually lead to real internal changes.

14. How does self-confidence change with age?

Answer: Self-confidence undergoes natural changes throughout our lives:

Childhood: The foundations of self-confidence are formed during this period, strongly influenced by parental feedback and early experiences of success.

Adolescence: It is often a time of fluctuating self-confidence, when the opinions of peers become particularly important and body image concerns can be heightened.

Young adulthood: A period of professional and relational identity formation, when self-confidence is often linked to external success and recognition.

The Middle Ages: For many, it is a time of stabilising self-confidence, when inner values become more important than external expectations. For others, the "midlife crisis" may involve a reassessment of self-esteem.

Ageing: Research has shown that for many people, self-confidence follows a U-shaped curve, and strengthens again in old age. Older people often:

• Less concerned about what others think
• Better value their existing contacts and experience
• They see their strengths and limitations more realistically
• Have greater wisdom for life

Of course, these are general trends, and individual life paths can differ significantly from this pattern.

15. What is the relationship between self-confidence and resilience?

Answer: Self-confidence and resilience are closely linked, mutually reinforcing psychological characteristics:

How self-confidence boosts resilience:

• Belief in our abilities helps us face challenges
• People with healthy self-confidence interpret failures more constructively
• Confidence supports effective problem solving
• Believing in yourself increases perseverance in times of difficulty

How resilience boosts self-confidence:

• Successfully overcoming difficulties is proof of our abilities
• A relational approach helps to see failures as learning opportunities
• Flexibility to adapt to different situations increases the sense of self-efficacy
• Resilience reduces fear of failure

The two traits can form a mutually reinforcing circle: healthy self-confidence makes you more courageous to take on challenges, and overcoming challenges further boosts self-confidence.

Both features can be developed, including:

• Framing failure as a learning opportunity
• Building supportive relationships
• Learning stress management techniques
• By consciously shaping the story of ourselves

More questions with simpler, shorter answers on Self-confidence

Why is self-confidence important?

Self-confidence helps you to make confident decisions, stick to your goals; be successful in your personal and professional life. It also has a positive impact on your mental health and your relationships.

How to increase self-confidence?

To increase self-confidence, it's important to develop self-awareness, be aware of small successes, practice positive thinking and step out of your comfort zone. In addition, developing body language and confident communication can also help.

What habits can reduce self-confidence?

Self-confidence can be reduced by constant self-criticism, negative internal dialogue, constant comparisons with others, fear of failure and excessive pressure to conform.

How can I handle criticism without losing confidence?

It is important to distinguish between constructive and destructive criticism. Constructive criticism should be seen as a learning opportunity, while negative or unfounded criticism should not be treated as a personal attack. Awareness of your own values and strengths is essential for self-confidence.

What can I do if I keep doubting myself?

In such cases, it is worth looking back at past successes, taking small steps, setting realistic goals and using positive reinforcement. To develop self-confidence, it can be helpful to create a supportive environment and seek professional help if needed.

How can coaching help to increase self-confidence?

Coaching uses targeted methods to help develop self-awareness and self-esteem. A coach supports you to recognise your strengths, overcome your limitations and consciously build your confidence.

What techniques does coaching use to improve self-confidence?

Coaching uses a variety of methods, such as self-reflection exercises, goal-based approaches, visualisation, positive reinforcement, and challenges to encourage stepping out of your comfort zone.

How long does it take to develop self-confidence through coaching?

The development of self-confidence happens at an individual pace, but after just a few coaching sessions, you will notice a noticeable change. Regular practice and self-reflection are necessary for lasting results.

What is the difference between self-development books and coaching in the area of self-confidence?

Self-development books can provide useful guidance, but coaching offers personalised support. A coach will help you to overcome your stumbling blocks, motivate you and give you feedback to help you achieve your goals more effectively.

Who should apply for self-confidence coaching?

For anyone who wants to become more confident, either in their career or in their personal life. If you feel that you often doubt yourself, find it difficult to stand up for yourself, or want to communicate more effectively, coaching can help in this area.

What are the most effective confidence-building exercises?

The following exercises can boost your confidence:
* Daily positive reinforcements
* Create success lists
* exit comfort zone
* Practice confident body language
* Visual confidence training

Boosting women's self-confidence. Why is it particularly important for women to develop self-confidence?

Many women tend to underestimate themselves because of societal expectations and the roles women are expected to play. Building self-confidence helps them to assert themselves in the workplace, in their relationships and in all areas of their lives.

How to build women's self-confidence?

Positive internal dialogue, awareness of achievements, setting healthy boundaries and the role of a supportive community are all key to boosting women's confidence.

What impact does self-confidence have on the success of women leaders?

Women who are confident become more effective leaders, stand up for themselves better and are more likely to succeed in male-dominated professions.

How can coaching help women to increase their self-confidence?

A coach will support you to recognise your strengths, overcome your inner barriers and consciously work on your confidence in individual or group coaching.

Boosting men's self-confidence.
Why is self-confidence important for men?

Self-confidence helps men to make strong decisions, succeed in their careers and have stable relationships.

How to develop male self-confidence?

It's important to recognise your own values, to practice strong body language and communication, and to step out of your comfort zone with challenges of all sizes.

What role does self-confidence play in relationships?

Confident men are more attractive and form more stable relationships because they are more aware and better able to handle emotional challenges.

How can a coach help men develop their confidence?

Through coaching, strategies and exercises tailored to individual goals help men become more confident at work, in relationships and in all areas of life.

What is inner confidence?

Inner self-confidence is a deep, stable belief in yourself that is not dependent on external recognition or success.

How to develop inner confidence?

Through conscious self-reflection, positive reinforcement, recognition of your own values and reduction of self-criticism.

What is the difference between internal and external self-confidence?

External confidence is often based on experiences of success or feedback from others, while internal confidence remains stable regardless of external circumstances.

How can inner confidence be strengthened through coaching?

A coach will help you to become aware of your inner resources, develop your self-reflection and find techniques that will maintain your inner confidence in the long term.

Why is it important to leave your comfort zone?

By regularly stepping out of your comfort zone and challenging yourself, you will gradually increase your confidence.

How can confidence-building exercises be integrated into everyday life?

Even just 5-10 minutes of conscious practice a day, such as journaling, positive reinforcements or completing small challenges, can make a big difference.

What does the level of self-confidence depend on?

Self-confidence can be shaped by experience, upbringing, environment and your own inner way of thinking.

How to develop self-confidence?

It can also be built through conscious self-improvement, success stories, positive thinking and coaching.