Characteristics of a good coach: skills and approach that bring real progress
Have you ever wondered what makes the difference between good coach-from mediocre? Or maybe you're looking for a coach and you're not sure what criteria to use? Maybe you're in the coaching profession yourself and want to develop your skills? In this article, we'll explore what makes someone a really good coach, what characteristics you should look out for and how to recognise a professional development practitioner.
What is the real role of a good coach?
Before we dive into the details, let's be clear about what exactly a good coach does. Coaching is a a developmental relationship, in which the coach helps the client to find their own answers and solutions to the challenges they face. A good coach doesn't tell you what to do, but creates an environment and process in which you can arrive at the insights and decisions that are best for you.
John Whitmore, one of the pioneers of coaching, says: "The coaching unlocks people's potential to maximise their performance. It helps them learn rather than teaches them." This perfectly sums up the job of a good coach - not to share knowledge with you, but to help you discover and develop your own potential.
10 essential characteristics of a good coach
1. Active listening and full presence
One of the most important skills of a good coach is the ability to listen actively. This means not just listening to your words, but being fully present in the conversation, noticing unspoken thoughts and emotions, and seeing the real meaning behind the words.
Active listening is where a good coach gives you feedback on what you've heard, asks clarifying questions and helps you understand your situation more deeply. This kind of quality listening creates a safe space where you can freely explore your thoughts and feelings.
A good coach is fully with you in the moment, not wandering off, not thinking about your next question as you speak, and not impatient for you to finish. This kind of presence is rare and precious and can be felt immediately during a coaching conversation.
2. Effective questioning techniques
A good coach is a true master of questioning. He knows that a well asked question is one of the most powerful tools to support personal development. Effective questions make you think, open up new perspectives and lead to insights you might not have reached on your own.
A good coach's questions are usually open, not suggestive and forward-looking. Instead of asking, "Why didn't this strategy work?", they ask, "What did you learn from this experience and how can you use it in the future?"
Effective questions are often simple but surprising because they approach the situation from a perspective you hadn't thought of before. A good coach knows that the right question asked at the right moment can have a greater impact than hours of advice.
3. Non-judgment and acceptance
A good coach never judges you or your decisions. He accepts you as you are and creates a safe space where you can express your thoughts and feelings freely without judgment or criticism.
This accepting attitude allows you to open up and even explore topics that are usually harder to talk about. A good coach knows that judgement and criticism block creativity and open-mindedness, while acceptance and support foster it.
However, non-judgement does not mean that the coach approves everything. A good coach can hold up a mirror, pointing out inconsistencies or inconsistencies without this being perceived as personal criticism.
4. Flexibility and adaptability
No two people are the same, no two problems are the same. A good coach knows this and is flexible enough to adapt to different personalities, learning styles and situations. They don't impose a rigid methodology on you, but adapt their approach to what works best for you.
This also means that a good coach does not stick to a pre-designed plan, but follows the flow of energy in the conversation. If an unexpected but important topic comes up, he or she is able to be flexible and change direction, exploring the area that seems most important at the moment.
Adaptability is also shown in the ability of a good coach to adapt different coaching tools and techniques to the situation and your needs, rather than applying a template approach to every situation.
5. Excellent self-awareness and self-reflection
A good coach is aware of his/her own values, strengths, weaknesses and blind spots. He or she constantly works on self-awareness and regularly reflects on his or her work to improve skills and effectiveness.
This self-reflective approach allows the coach to avoid his own projections and prejudices and to really focus on you, without being influenced by his own issues. As the old saying goes, "You can't lead someone to a place you've never been."
Good coaches often participate in supervision or their own coaching process to develop their self-awareness and professional skills. This kind of commitment, alongside continuous development, is key to maintaining the quality of coaching.
6. Structured process and methodology
While flexibility is important, a good coach has a well thought out, structured methodology that provides a framework for the coaching process. This methodology could be, for example, the GROW model (Goal, Reality, Options, Will/Way forward) or other similar approaches with proven effectiveness.
A structured process is not rigid - it's more like a map to help you find your way and ensure that your conversations are productive and moving towards your goals. A good coach is aware of where you are in the process and how each conversation is connected.
This structure gives depth and direction to the coaching process, and helps to avoid conversations turning into superficial chatter or pointless complaining.
7. Promoting accountability
A good coach knows that real change only happens when you turn your insights and decisions into action. That's why he or she helps you identify concrete, achievable steps and supports you in taking responsibility for implementing them.
This is not a strict accountability, but a supportive environment where it is natural to report on your commitments and reflect on what worked and what didn't. A good coach will help you analyse both successes and failures so that you can learn from them and continually refine your strategies.
Supporting accountability often also means that the coach helps you to recognise and overcome the various forms of self-sabotage that can hinder you from achieving your goals.
8. Emotional intelligence and empathy
A good coach has high emotional intelligence - the ability to recognise, understand and manage both your own and your own emotions during the coaching process. This enables him or her to respond empathetically when you are facing challenges or difficult feelings.
Emotional intelligence also enables the coach to detect unspoken emotions and help you to recognise and express them. This can be particularly important in areas such as career change or leadership development, where emotional factors often play a significant role, even if they are not openly discussed.
But empathy does not mean that the coach suffers with you - it's more about understanding and validating your feelings while helping you to process and move beyond them in a constructive way.
9. Encouraging and challenging attitude
A good coach strikes a balance between support and challenge. While on the one hand providing safety and acceptance, on the other hand gently challenging you to step out of your comfort zone and beyond the limits you have set for yourself.
This kind of "supportive challenge" encourages growth without overburdening or alienating. A good coach knows your abilities - often better than you do - and knows when and how to push you to do more.
The motivational attitude is also reflected in the fact that the coach does not let you get stuck in the victim role or in making excuses, but helps you to recognise your responsibilities and your potential in every situation.
10. Ethical conduct and professional boundaries
A good coach operates according to a strict code of ethics, respects confidentiality and maintains clear boundaries in the coaching relationship. He knows exactly what is and is not within the scope of coaching and is honest with you if he feels that your problem is beyond the scope of coaching.
This also means that a good coach will not take on a client or a topic for which he or she is not well prepared. Rather, they will refer the client to a specialist if this is in their best interests.
It is also part of being ethical that a good coach continuously develops himself/herself, follows the evolution of the profession and participates in professional communities, supervision or interviews.
How can you recognise a good coach?
Now that we've gone through the essential characteristics of a good coach in detail, let's see how you can recognise them in practice when you're looking for a coach!
Experiences of the Dating Conversation
Most coaches offer a free or discounted introductory chat, which is a great way to get to know them and their working style. See how you feel during the conversation! With a good coach you usually develop a rapport and trust immediately.
A good coach during the introductory conversation:
- He listens mainly to you, he doesn't talk about himself
- Ask relevant, thought-provoking questions
- Clearly explain the coaching process and methodology
- Speak frankly about what you can and cannot help with
- It does not promise an immediate solution or a "magic bullet"
It is important to feel a chemistry with the coach, as coaching is a relationship of trust. If you don't feel comfortable, it's better to keep looking, no matter how skilled and experienced the coach is.
Qualifications and professional background
Although the coaching profession is even less regulated than, for example, psychotherapy, good coaches usually have professional accreditation. The best known international accreditation is provided by the International Coach Federation (ICF), but there are other trusted organisations such as the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC). In addition, some coaches have the highest level of coaching qualification currently available, i.e. a university degree, a higher coaching diploma.
Look at the coach's qualifications and professional background, but don't just look at the paperwork - real experience and client feedback are often more important than the number of degrees. A good coach is usually open about their qualifications and their ongoing development in the profession.
It is also worth checking whether the coach specialises in an area that is relevant to you - for example, leadership development, career change or business development.
References and recommendations
A good coach usually has satisfied clients who are happy to recommend him to others. Look for references, read feedback or ask for recommendations from people you know who have worked with the coach.
On most coaches' websites you can find case studies or success stories (confidential, of course) that can help you get an idea of their work and methods.
Testimonials and references are particularly valuable if they come from someone who has been in a similar situation to you or has approached the coach with similar goals.
Transparent operation and contract
A good coach works transparently, giving clear information about the coaching process, the price and the terms of the contract. At the start of coaching, he or she will provide you with a written or verbal contract that clarifies expectations, goals and practical details.
This transparency gives you a sense of security and allows you to work together in a clear framework. If your coach's communication is unclear or uncertain in any way, this can be a warning sign.
A good coach will also make it clear how to measure the success of the coaching and regularly reflect with you on progress and results.
How can you become a good coach?
If you are in the coaching profession yourself, or are about to enter it, you will be interested to know how you can develop yourself to become a really good coach. Here are some key steps:
Get quality training and accreditation
The journey to becoming a coach usually starts with an accredited coach training course. Choose a programme that not only teaches coaching techniques, but also imparts the philosophy, ethics and approach of coaching. ICF-accredited training courses are a good starting point.
But training is just the basics - learning really starts when you start working with clients and face real-life situations and challenges.
Practise and gain experience
As in any skills-based profession, coaching requires practice. You can start by working with friends and family, or volunteering at non-profit organisations to gain experience.
Experience is about both quantity and quality - it is important to spend many hours coaching different types of people and on different topics, but it is equally important to reflect on and learn from these experiences.
Develop your self-awareness
The journey of becoming a good coach is also an internal journey. The more deeply you know yourself - your values, strengths, limitations, blind spots - the more effectively you can support others in their development.
There are many ways to develop self-awareness: you can take part in your own coaching process, therapy, self-awareness groups, or even various meditation or other mindfulness exercises.
Find supervision and mentoring
Supervision is an essential part of professional development, where you can reflect on your work with the help of an experienced coach and identify blind spots or areas for improvement.
Mentoring can also be valuable - a mentor coach can not only teach you professional skills, but also introduce you to the workings of the coaching profession, its relationships and help you develop your own coaching style.
Be a continuous learner
A good coach never thinks he knows everything. You constantly educate yourself, read literature, attend workshops and conferences, and follow the evolution of the coaching profession.
This continuous learning not only serves to deepen your expertise, but also inspires you and keeps you fresh to avoid burnout and routine.
Summary: The path to becoming a good coach
As we have seen, a good coach has many qualities and skills - from active listening to effective questioning techniques to emotional intelligence. But perhaps most importantly, a good coach does not just apply techniques, but creates a genuine relationship with the client and a space where development and transformation can happen naturally.
How can I find good coaches in Hungary?
There are several ways to find good coaches: you can search for them on professional platforms (such as coachlab.hu/en/ or the Coachkereso.hu), by recommendation or even through social media. It is important not to decide based on marketing texts alone, but to ask for an initial (even free) consultation and see how in tune you feel with him personally - a good coach is not only "good" on paper, but also works in a live relationship.
Is coaching for everyone?
Coaching works best if you are open to self-awareness, change and willing to work on yourself. Good coaches will never 'do it for you', but will be there for you all the way. If you feel stuck, have questions, or want to change but don't know how to get started - coaching can help. for you.
How much does a good coach cost and is it worth the price?
The price of a good coach usually ranges between 50.000-90.000 HUF per session, but it depends on experience, specialisation and region. Although it may seem like an investment at first, a well-chosen coach save you time, money and stress your long-term results. Decide not on price, but on what you get for your money - a good coach is not cheap, it's valuable.
