The most important questions to ask yourself if you want to make a change
Change is the only constant in life, Heraclitus once said, and this truth is perhaps more valid today than ever before. In our careers, relationships or personal development, we all face a moment when we feel we need to change. But how do we start? What questions should we consider before making a major change?
In this article, we have gathered key questions to help you see the change process more clearly, make better-informed decisions and successfully implement the transformation. Whether it's a career change, a move, or a change in personal habits, these questions can serve as a guide through the maze of change.
1. Why do I really want to change?
This is perhaps the most important question you should ask yourself. Understanding the real motivation for change is key to successful transformation. Often, we only see the surface problems, while deeper, underlying dissatisfactions lie in the background.
- Do I really want to change my job, or is it more a problem with the workplace culture and management style?
- Do I want to change my place of residence or should I change my daily routine?
- Do I want to end my relationship or should we work on our communication patterns?
When answering the "why" question, it is worth thinking in layers. After your first answer, ask yourself again: "And why is this important to me?" Continue this process until you come to an answer that already resonates deeply with you.
In the coaching process we often use the "3 Why" technique to explore this. This helps us to distinguish real motivation from surface problems and to find solutions that address the root causes, not just the symptoms.
2. What do I really want to achieve?
Change is not an end in itself, but a means to some desired state. Before focusing on the "how", you need to define the "what" - the goal you want to achieve.
Imagine in detail what the situation you want to achieve looks like:
- How would you feel in this new situation?
- How would you spend a typical day?
- Who would surround you?
- What values would be realised in your life?
Use positive statements when formulating the objective precisely. Rather than focusing on what you want to get rid of ("I don't want a stressful job"), state what you want instead ("I want a job where I can be creative and my contribution is valued").
Coaching a very useful tool for Setting SMART targets: setting Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound objectives. This structure helps to translate aspirations into concrete, achievable plans.
3. What are the real consequences of change?
Every change makes waves - not just in our lives, but in the lives of those around us. When considering change, it is worth considering all the possible consequences.
Make a detailed impact assessment:
- How will the change affect your financial situation in the short and long term?
- How will it affect your immediate environment (family, friends, colleagues)?
- Which opportunities will be opened up and which will be closed by the change?
- What positive and negative emotional effects can you expect?
In coaching practice, we often use the decision matrix, where we analyse the pros and cons of change in both the short and long term. This helps to see the bigger picture more realistically and to prepare for the difficulties that may arise.
Remember that change brings not only gains but also losses. You need to take time to process these, even if the overall change is positive.
4. What resources do I have to make the change?
Understanding the resources available to you is essential for successful change. These can be not only material, but also personal, social and environmental.
Take inventory in the following areas:
- Internal resources: Skills, knowledge, experience, personality traits, values, motivation
- Material resources: Financial reserves, investments, assets
- Social resources: Supportive family, friends, mentors, professional contacts
- Resources in time: How much time do you have to implement the change and the transition period?
A coaching processIn many cases, we use a 'resource map' to visualise these areas and help identify where they need to be supplemented or strengthened.
In particular, it is important to check whether you have sufficient buffer resources (time, money, energy) to make the change a success. Many change attempts fail because we do not anticipate the unexpected difficulties that arise during the transition.
5. What are the biggest obstacles and how will I overcome them?
There are obstacles to any significant change - these can be external circumstances or internal barriers. The key to successful change is not the absence of obstacles, but the preparation for them and a strategy to overcome them.
Identify potential barriers in the categories below:
- External barriers: financial constraints, time pressure, social or family expectations, legal or administrative difficulties
- Internal barriers: Fears, self-doubt, ingrained habits, lack of skills, self-sabotaging thoughts
For each barrier identified, develop a concrete action plan. This could be developing a skill, asking for help, developing alternative solutions or consciously facing fears.
In coaching practice, we often use the "Let's assume that..." technique: "Let's assume that you have overcome this obstacle. How did you do it?" This thinking framework helps you find creative solutions and builds self-confidence.
6. What small steps can I take to start making a change?
Major life changes often stall because they seem too big, too complex. According to the "gateway theory", the path to success is through small, easy steps that gradually build on each other.
Break the change down into small, manageable steps:
- What is one small thing you can do today to make a difference?
- What is the smallest change that would make a noticeable difference?
- How can you move forward gradually, building on previous successes?
In the coaching process, we often work with "micro-commitments" - small commitments that are easy to meet and give a quick sense of achievement. These small victories build confidence and momentum towards bigger changes.
It's worth putting these small steps in writing and celebrating each milestone achieved, however small.
7. Who can help me in this process?
Change rarely happens in a vacuum - a supportive environment is key to success. It's worth thinking about who you can count on on your change journey.
Think about the following questions:
- Who are the people who unconditionally support you in the process of change?
- Who has knowledge or experience that could be useful to you?
- Do you need professional help (coach, therapist, counsellor)?
- Who are those who might resist change?
The coaching approach holds that change often requires a "support trio": emotional supporters, professional helpers and accountability holders who hold you accountable for keeping your promises.
Remember that asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but of real strength and self-awareness. The most successful people do not achieve results alone, but with the help of a supportive community.
8. How will I know if the change has been successful?
A key element of the change process is the measurability of success. If we don't know what we consider success, how will we know we have achieved it?
Define the criteria for success:
- What concrete, measurable results would you like to see?
- What feelings and experiences would you like to have?
- What feedback would you like to get from your environment?
- Over what timeframe do you consider change to be successful?
In coaching practice we often use a "success diary" where the client records small and large signs of change. This not only helps to measure progress, but also serves as a motivational tool during difficult times.
It is also worth setting intermediate milestones to show that you are on the right track, even if you haven't quite reached the final goal.
9. What if the change doesn't go the way I want?
Life rarely goes exactly according to plan, and the process of change can be full of unexpected twists and turns. Flexibility and adaptability are just as important as setting firm goals.
Be prepared for different scenarios:
- What's your plan B if the original idea doesn't work?
- How do you know if you need to change the original plan?
- What signs are you looking for that indicate you need to change your strategy?
The coaching approach emphasises "flexible persistence" - the ability to stick to your goal while flexibly adapting your path to it to changing circumstances.
Remember that 'failure' is often a valuable learning opportunity and the path to successful change is rarely a straight line.
10. What can I learn from this process, regardless of the outcome?
Change is not only valuable for the end result, but the process itself offers many opportunities for improvement. Developing a learning mindset helps to find value even in the face of difficulties.
Think about the following:
- What personal skills can you develop during the change process?
- What can you learn about yourself when facing challenges?
- How can you use this experience for future changes?
In the coaching process we often use the exercise "metaperspective": "When you look back on this period years from now, what do you think will be the most important lesson for you?"
This approach helps to maintain openness and the possibility of progress even when change is not exactly as originally envisaged.
Summary
The path to change is rarely easy, but thinking through the above questions can significantly increase the chances of a successful transformation. Remember that real, lasting change takes time - it is not a one-off event, but a process that requires patience and persistence.
The key, according to the coaching approach, is not necessarily a perfect plan or flawless execution, but awareness, flexibility and openness to continuous learning. Asking the right questions is the first step on this path.
If you feel you need help with the change process, consider engaging a qualified coach who can provide personalised support in this exciting, challenging but highly rewarding journey.
Want expert help with the change process? Book a free consultation on our website and let's discover together how you can successfully change and grow!
