In the first leadership position, everyone gets a little lost, the question is for how long?
When I got my first management position, I thought I was waiting for this. No, that's not true, I knew and I was sure that this was what I was waiting for, and finally...
I have worked hard for years, I have achieved good results, very good results! Everyone in the team liked me - or so I thought. After the first week I realised that I had to focus on something completely different than before. At the end of the second month, I noticed that some of my old colleagues looked at me differently. Not maliciously, but differently. In the sixth month, a particularly difficult week, I asked myself: was this really what I wanted?
This is not a unique story. In fact, I would say that almost everyone goes through something similar in the first management position in the first months of the year.
According to research from the Center for Creative Leadership, 59% of newly appointed leaders cite one of the biggest challenges as suddenly turning their former colleague into a boss, while at the same time having to maintain human relationships. You have to gain authority while remaining a friend. This seems like a contradiction in terms, because it is partly a contradiction.
I would add that we are also looking hard to find our place among the „former” leaders. We also try very hard to live up to ourselves and others. To our colleagues, to our team, to our leaders, (and in some cases even to our foreign leaders and non-direct managers.)
But just because it's hard doesn't mean you should get lost in it. It's just that no one tells you in advance what you're going to get. We're telling you now. If you're interested...
Why is it difficult for everyone to be a first-time manager?
Because you're being asked to do something you've never done before. It sounds simple, but the depth of it is a surprise to many. It's not a question of whether you're clever or whether you've done a good job so far. A first management position is a different genre altogether. It's like someone who has been an excellent footballer for years and then overnight is appointed coach. Handling the ball and teaching others to handle the ball are two completely different skills.
And the change is not just happening inside you. Your environment is changing too. Your co-workers will behave differently towards you; some more cautious, some more distant, some may try to test new boundaries. The expectations of senior managers change too: it's no longer a question of what you do, but of what your team brings to the table. Friends and acquaintances don't always understand why you're stressed when you „finally get promoted.” It's something you have to live with - and handle as well as possible, because if you don't, sooner or later it will show on your team, your results and, last but not least, on you!
In a 2022 study, a Harvard Business Review survey of more than a thousand first-time or newly appointed executives found that burnout among first-level managers is nearly twice as likely as among their more experienced colleagues - and one of the main reasons is that they are not properly supported during the transition (Source: Harvard Business Review, What First-Time Managers Can Do to Manage Burnout, 2022).
This is not a weakness. It is a structural weakness.
If I could have had a coach or mentor at my side when I was in my first management position - because my boss just expected me to know my stuff... - I would have done a lot of things differently. Not necessarily different decisions, but faster, with less unnecessary weight. I had a similarly senior level (same level) co-worker who was above everyone in his reading - narcissistic leader type who sucked the oxygen out of others all over the hallway. He wasn't my boss, but he could make my life bitter and of course actively tried. If someone had then helped me understand what was really going on and how to deal with it, I certainly wouldn't have come as close to burnout as I did. I would have treated my teams differently in the beginning - with fewer mistakes, fewer unnecessary twists and turns. It still didn't turn out badly, but looking back I can see clearly: needing support is not a weakness. Aid is a space and, above all, a time gain.
What changes in first leadership - and what no one prepares you for?
Transition is not an event. It's not the day you get a letter of recommendation, a promotion or find out you've been promoted. Transition is a process and usually takes months to really settle into a new equilibrium. Let's look at what you least expect:
Your identity is changing - whether you want it to or not
So far, you've been the one who does your job well. In your first leadership position, you will be the one who enables, or can enable, others to do their job well. This is a fundamental shift, and many people spend months trying to be both and do both at the same time. They do their own tasks when they should be delegating more and more. This is one of the most common traps new managers fall into, and one of the surest ways to burn out.
Old friendships and working relationships are transformed
Some people are happy about your promotion. There are those who envy it. Some people don't know how to behave with you now that you're the boss. That's all normal, but no one can predict how weird the first few weeks will be when you sit down to lunch with the same people you were on a completely equal footing with yesterday, and today you decide, among other things, their pay rises...
Loneliness appears - sometimes unexpectedly
The first line manager and senior managers are often some of the most out of touch people in the organisation. You can't say everything upwards because it's not appropriate. He can't say everything downwards because it doesn't fit or it can't be shared yet... He's a bit distant from old friends. According to an HBR survey, 91 percent of first-round managers reported feeling some level of isolation during the transition (Source: Harvard Business Review, 2022). This number is shocking to many, but it's worth taking seriously.
Difficult people to work with! Upwards too, sideways too
Managing your team is one thing. But what can be a real surprise: managing people at your level or above. Narcissistic colleagues who are driven by their own self-interest; senior managers who expect something but don't always say exactly what; organisational policies that no one has written down anywhere, yet everyone knows about. Managing these situations well, without getting bogged down in them, is an independent skill that needs to be learned.
What do the numbers say?
It's not just personal experience behind it. The figures also show that the first management position is a structurally difficult transition, which is better made with preparation or support.
According to research by Pragati Leadership nearly 50 percent of new managers are considered ineffective (I just thought of that, but maybe there is no such word :), maybe it's: not effective enough mainly because they have not received any training or support during the transition (Source: Pragati Leadership, Common Challenges Faced by First-Time Managers, 2025) This does not mean that these people are unfit for leadership. It means that they have been left alone in a situation they have never been in before.
According to SHRM's (Society for Human Resource Management) 2024 survey, more than 51 percent of CHROs (Human Resource Managers) cite leadership and manager development as their top priority for 2025, indicating that companies are beginning to recognize that the first leader is not a finished product, but a process that needs to be supported (Source: SHRM CHRO Priorities and Perspectives Report, 2024).
Bence got his first serious team leader position in a mid-sized technology company at the age of thirty-seven. He was an excellent professional, loved by everyone, and his promotion came as a surprise to the team - but a positive surprise. Everything went well for the first three months. From the fourth, however, he worked more and more, slept less and less, and found it increasingly difficult to deal with one of his team members, with whom he had previously been good friends, but the new situation seemed to strain their relationship.
When he started a coaching process at CoachLab, at the end of the first session Bence said, „I thought my problem was that I was a bad leader. Now I see that I'm not. My problem is that no one told me what was going to happen and that it was normal.” Twelve sessions later, Bence's team was one of the best performers in the company and he himself was back to a state where he could sleep at night.
What can a coach do to help you in your first management position?
Many people think that coaching is needed when something is „broken.” When someone is stuck, when things are not going well, when there is a problem. This is one of the biggest misconceptions in the profession. Coaching is not a symptomatic treatment. The best time to go to a coach is when there is no big problem, because that is when you have the most room for manoeuvre. (And today a potential client pointed this out to me: „I don't have a problem, I'm totally comfortable in the job I'm doing... I ‘just’ want to improve and I feel like now is the time...”
In your first leadership position, a good coach will help you to:
- Find your identity for your new role more quickly without giving up who you were.
- Learn to delegate - really delegate, not just verbally.
- Know how to say NO if you have to and know how to do it properly.
- Recognise and manage difficult personalities in your team and organisation - be they subordinates, colleagues or senior managers.
- Enjoy what you do and have fun doing it.
- Prevent burnout - before it reaches the point of no return.
- Achieve your goals faster - because you're clearer about what really matters.
This is not magic. It's a structured process where someone helps you think through situations that are much harder to see through on your own, in a consistent and non-judgmental way.
Burnout: what the first driver doesn't realise in time
Burnout does not happen overnight. It builds up slowly, from small signs that you initially brush aside: „it's just been a tough week,” „it'll get better once I get through this project,” „it's part of the transition.” Then at some point you realize that you haven't felt the momentum you did before for weeks. That you don't feel like going in in the morning. That the team that made you so happy to get promoted now seems more like a burden.
According to Harvard Business Review, more than half of managers experience burnout, and the rate is even higher for first-round managers (Source: Harvard Business Review, More Than 50% of Managers Feel Burned Out, 2023). More importantly, research shows that manager burnout has a direct impact on the team. A manager who is burned out is almost certain to burn out people around him or her.
That's why it's not a luxury to ask for support in your first management position. It is an investment! It is an investment in yourself and in a more successful, better, more beautiful, more satisfied you and your future.
„Leadership is not about you managing people. It's about taking care of those you lead.” - Simon Sinek, Leaders Eat Last
But to take care of others, you must first take care of yourself. Newly appointed or first-time managers rarely see or hear this - and even less often believe it.
Coaching in your first management position: what to expect?
If you've never worked with a coach before, it's worth knowing what to expect. Coaching is not counselling (although it can be, if the client asks and the coach agrees), the coach does not tell you what to do. Neither is caoching therapy, you are not dredging up your past. Executive coaching, and within that executive development coaching, focuses on where you are now and where you want to be. Meanwhile, it helps you identify patterns - in thinking, behaviour, reactions - that may be slowing you down or holding you back.
A typical coaching process is first management position usually runs between six and twelve sessions; and some are ongoing, i.e. not just occasional. In between sessions there is time to try things out in real life, and then look back at what worked and what didn't at the next session. It's not a theoretical process, but a very practical one.
If you are interested in prices and details of packages, please contact CoachLab coaching prices page you will find a transparent information leaflet - separately on executive coaching and separately for career coaching in relation to.
What should you look at together, with help, what should you look out for in your first management position/task?
| Territory | Typical challenges in the first months | What coaching can help |
|---|---|---|
| Role reversal | He wants to work and drive at the same time | Consciously building the new role, delegation |
| Contacts | The old colleague-colleague relationship has changed | Balancing boundaries and credibility |
| Team management | Not knowing how to motivate, give feedback | Leadership style, communication |
| Difficult people | Narcissistic colleagues, difficult senior managers | Strategies to manage them, self-defence |
| Burnout prevention | Taking on too much, can't switch off | Priorities, limits, refilling habits |
| Objectives and results | Not clear what to focus on | Clarifying targets, measuring progress |
So: is it worth asking for support in your first management position?
Yes. Definitely yes. Not because you are weak, but because you are smart! Because you recognize that you are going through something you have never been through before and you have the opportunity to not do it alone. Even the best athletes need coaches alongside them, not because they can't play football, but because the game looks different from the outside.
If the in a first management position had someone been there to help, not to tell you the answers, but to help you find them, a lot of things would have been different. Not necessarily in different directions, but easier, faster, with fewer unnecessary detours and avoidable pitfalls. Not everyone has to experience this first hand. There is another way.
If you are in the in your first management position or are about to be, check out the CoachLab Coaching Services pages or blog articles. If you're thinking about a combination of mentor and coach at company level, the CoachBp a senior executive coaching approach may also be a worthwhile option. Read more On the CoachLab blog, or write to us directly - the first step is not a commitment, just a thought starter.
Frequently asked questions
Why is it so difficult to become a first manager?
Because you're being asked to do a role you've never been in before, you've never had the experience, the experience, the training. The first management position is not a continuation of your previous job at a higher level, but a completely different genre. Your relationships with your colleagues change, expectations of you change and the way the organisation sees you changes. According to research by the Center for Creative Leadership, 59 percent of new leaders cite this role change as one of their biggest challenges. It's normal - and manageable if you know what to expect.
When should you consult a coach for your first management position?
The best time: as early as possible. Not when you're already in trouble, but when you still have room for improvement. The first six months are the period when leadership habits, patterns and attitudes are formed most quickly, for good and bad. A coaching or mentoring process during this period is the most effective investment you can make in your own future.
How can a coach help prevent burnout in the first driver?
Burnout does not usually happen overnight, and it is slow to recover, and the first signs often go unnoticed. A good coach will help you recognise these signs early, clarify priorities, learn to delegate and develop a daily routine that is sustainable in the long term. According to Harvard Business Review research, more than half of managers struggle with burnout - but it's not inevitable if the right support comes in time.
What is the difference between coaching and mentoring for the first leader?
The mentor will usually give advice from their own experience, showing you how they did it. A coach, on the other hand, doesn't give advice, but helps you find your own solutions through questions, structure and feedback. The two approaches complement each other well - in many companies both are part of the first manager's development programme.
How much does coaching for your first management position cost?
Prices depend on the coach's experience, the length of the process and whether the assignment is for an individual or a company. For detailed information, please see CoachLab coaching prices page. What's worth bearing in mind: according to Pragati Leadership, nearly half of new leaders are judged ineffective without adequate support - so the coaching investment pays off not only for the individual but also for the organisation.
Source: Center for Creative Leadership - Understanding the Leadership Challenges of First-Time Managers | Harvard Business Review - What First-Time Managers Can Do to Manage Burnout, 2022 | Harvard Business Review - More Than 50% of Managers Feel Burned Out, 2023 | SHRM CHRO Priorities and Perspectives Report, 2024 | Pragati Leadership - Common Challenges Faced by First-Time Managers, 2025
