{"id":259738,"date":"2025-06-18T20:39:00","date_gmt":"2025-06-18T18:39:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/coachlab.hu\/?p=259738"},"modified":"2025-12-30T22:22:08","modified_gmt":"2025-12-30T21:22:08","slug":"the-power-to-find-your-inner-motivation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/coachlab.hu\/en\/blog\/a-miert-ereje-talald-meg-a-belso-motivaciodat\/","title":{"rendered":"The power of \"Why?\": find your inner motivation in the face of external pressure!"},"content":{"rendered":"

The power of \"Why?\": find your inner motivation in the face of external pressure!<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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Peter was 42 when he realised that every day for the last few years was a fake day, like a play. He couldn't even drive anymore because he felt it was dangerous, he couldn't pay enough attention to driving, so in a week took the tram to work for the third time<\/strong>, and her eyes became very teary but she didn't burst into tears. The nature of the man and the expectations did not allow<\/strong>, they kept the strength in him not to cry in the crowd on the tram. Nice career, Deputy CEO, nice salary, prestige<\/a>. But he himself felt emptier and emptier. \u201eWhy am I doing this?<\/strong>\u201e<\/em> - he asked himself every morning. The answer was always the same: because others expect it. His parents were proud of him, his wife loved his security, his colleagues saw him as a role model. But somewhere deep down, he knew that this is not his way.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Peter's story is not unique. We, the CoachLab Coaching Services<\/a> we often meet people who are successful on the outside but burnt out on the inside, if not every day. This motivation, the intrinsic motivation<\/strong> is perhaps the most difficult, yet most important journey we can ever undertake. Think about it, have you had an experience like the one above? Have you ever asked yourself in the morning why you are doing this? Give yourself time to think about why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why \"Why\"?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Martin Luther King<\/strong> did not begin his famous speech with \"I have a plan\". Steve Jobs<\/strong> did not open the legendary iPhone launch with \"Here's a new phone\". Gandhi<\/strong> did not start the independence movement with \"Here is our strategy\".<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They are all about \"Why\"<\/strong>-They started with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because that's not what people buy, which<\/em> you do - they buy it, why<\/em> you do. People are not following you because something from<\/em> you want to achieve, but to actually why<\/em> you want to achieve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that is exactly what is missing in most people's lives. They know that with<\/em> they do. Some people know that, how<\/em> they do. But very few people know that why<\/em> they do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/a>A intrinsic motivation<\/strong> is to find the \"Why\". It is the invisible force that drives every big dream, every breakthrough, every real success. When you find your \"Why\", you're no longer working - you're on a mission.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But here's the tragedy: most people (alone) get lost along the way. They start following external cues - money, position, prestige - and forget why they set out in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is not just a story about a career. It's about who you are and why you're here.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What really drives people? The secret of inner motivation<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

A intrinsic motivation<\/strong> was first introduced by Edward Deci and Richard Ryan in the 1970s. Intrinsic motivation arises from an individual's inner drives and interests, and the very act of doing an activity provides pleasure, satisfaction and fulfillment. This type of motivation does not require external rewards or recognition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Daniel Pink, one of the best-known figures in motivation research, argues that human motivation is largely intrinsic, and its aspects can be divided into three parts: autonomy, mastery and purpose. Pink opposes old models of motivation driven by rewards and fear of punishment, which are dominated by external factors such as money.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The risk of overfunding<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

This is where one of the most important psychological phenomena comes into play: the overexposure<\/strong>. This means that when a naturally motivating activity we get an external reward, our intrinsic motivation gradually decreases<\/strong>. It is as if the reward \"steals\" the original pleasure we derived from the activity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At CoachLab, during coaching or consulting sessions, we met several leaders who originally chose their profession because they loved what they did<\/strong>. Years later, however, they worked only for pay and promotion - the intrinsic motivation<\/strong> has completely disappeared.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\"The greatest danger is not to aim too high and fail, but to aim too low and reach too high.\"<\/em> - Michelangelo<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Why is it so difficult to stay intrinsically motivated?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The spiral of social pressure<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Our society is fundamentally based on external rewards. From an early age, we learn that we are praised for good grades and punished for bad behaviour. This pattern follows us throughout our lives: a pay rise for good performance, recognition for success, social status for position.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A career development <\/strong><\/a>opportunity is also essential to maintain intrinsic motivation. Employees prefer jobs that offer opportunities for development. But what happens when these opportunities stagnate or are exhausted, or do not match our true values?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The external validation trap<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Another story illustrates this problem perfectly. Panna was working as a lawyer in a prestigious law firm, earning a high salary and social recognition. But every night on her way home she felt something important is missing from your life<\/strong>. A life coaching<\/a> During the process, it emerged that his original dream was to work as a teacher and help the younger generation. But external expectations diverted him from this path. He did not change. She decided to stay on this path and try to fill this gap in other ways. What would you do?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The culture of comparison<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The age of social media has amplified this problem. We see it all the time the \"successes\" of others<\/strong> - often just the appearance - and we instinctively compare our own situation with it<\/strong>. It is more takes us away from our own inner compass.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The process of finding the real \"Why?\"<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

1. A new approach to the SMART objective<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

We need to add a sixth element to the traditional SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) model: the \"Why?\"<\/strong>-tel. Behind every goal should be the deep motivation that really keeps us moving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Specific (S):<\/strong> What exactly are you trying to achieve? Measurable (M):<\/strong> How will you know if you have done it? Available (A):<\/strong> Is the target realistic? Relevant (R):<\/strong> Why is this important to you? Time-bound (T):<\/strong> When do you want to achieve it? + Why (W):<\/strong> What is your deep, inner motivation?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Clarifying values<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

A intrinsic motivation<\/strong> is based on clarifying our values. These are the principles we want to live by, regardless of external circumstances.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Examples of personal values<\/strong><\/th>How they manifest themselves<\/strong><\/th>External vs. Internal signal<\/strong><\/th><\/tr><\/thead>
Creativity<\/strong><\/td>Implementing new ideas<\/td>Inside: joy in creation<\/td><\/tr>
Security<\/strong><\/td>Creating a stable environment<\/td>External: recognition of others<\/td><\/tr>
Freedom<\/strong><\/td>Making your own decisions<\/td>Internal: sense of autonomy<\/td><\/tr>
Contacts<\/strong><\/td>Deep human bonds<\/td>Internal: giving\/receiving love<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

3. Using the STAR method to discover intrinsic motivation<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The STAR (Situation, Task, Action, Result) method is usually used for job interviews, but it is also very useful for intrinsic motivation<\/strong> also for mapping:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Situation:<\/strong> Think of a time when you felt really energetic and satisfied with your work or a project.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Task:<\/strong> What did you have to do? What was your goal?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Action:<\/strong> What specifically did you do? What steps did you take?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Result:<\/strong> What was the outcome? How did you feel?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This exercise will help you to identify situations and activities that naturally arouse our inner motivation<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Strategies to deal with external pressures<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Delimitation of boundaries<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

We find that one of the biggest challenges our clients face is the inability to say no to external expectations. Demarcating borders is not selfishness<\/strong>!!! - it's healthy intrinsic motivation<\/strong> a prerequisite for maintaining.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practical tips for setting boundaries:<\/h4>\n\n\n\n