The 7 essential qualities of a good coach: what to look for when choosing?
Decided to see a coach? Congratulations! That's a huge step in itself. But if you're going to do it, you'll want to find good coaches and a the best possible coach to choose, right? Coaching is a relationship of trust. If you make the right choice, your quality of life can be radically changed. If not... well, worse than a waste of time and money: disappointment.
In this article, I will guide you through the 7 most important aspects that will help you decide whether who are the good coaches, and how to find them the one that's best for you.
1. Good coaches really listen to you (not just listen to you)
You know that feeling when someone nods, but you feel they're not really there with you? An good coach is not only silent, but actually is present. He also feels the feelings behind your words. It can see beyond the words you say to what you have not yet articulated yourself.
How do you know he's really listening?
- He asks back.
- It sums up what you said.
- No rush, no templates.
- It mentions something you've already forgotten.
👉 Tip: In the first consultation (which is often free) you can already feel how much the person resonates with you. If you don't feel the focus, move on.
2. It doesn't control you, it helps you to control you
A coach is not a counsellor, therapist or mentor. Does not tell you what to do, but support with questionsto find your own answers. A good coach respects that you are the expert on your own life.
How do you know he's not in control?
- You don't start listing solutions.
- He doesn't talk more than you.
- It asks questions that make you think.
👉 Tip: If you come away from a session full of your own insights, you're on the right track.
3. Good coaches want to know you - without judgement
Imagine you say something that is difficult for you, maybe even embarrassing... And the coach's face doesn't even flinch. No judgment, no "I don't believe this". Just acceptance and curiosity.
The good coach does not categorise, not to qualify, not to fix. He accepts you as you are - and is curious about who you really are.
👉 Tip: If at any time you feel uncomfortable with a coach's reaction, it is an important signal. The coaching safe space must go hand in hand with a sense of.
4. He asks. But not just any questions
An good coach questions are like a well-directed light: illuminate something in you that you've left in the dark. They may surprise you, they may provoke you, but they are always forward-looking.
What is a good coaching question?
- "What's stopping you from trying?"
- "What if you weren't afraid of this?"
- "How would you feel if you were over it?"
👉 Tip: If you get a question in the first conversation that you digested for days afterwards, that's a good sign. The questions of a good coach your mind works, even though the meeting is long over.
5. Good coaches are authentic - they don't play a role
Credibility does not mean that the coach has to be perfect. On the contrary. good coach self-identical, takes responsibility for its own mistakes and does not want to play the role of "master".
You share as much about yourself as you help you - but it doesn't push its own story on you. He doesn't want to show you that "he's over it" or that "but that's how he did it".
👉 Tip: Listen to the coach's tone of voice. Do you feel treated as an equal partner? Or is he acting more like a master teacher?
6. Keeping within limits - yet flexible
Coaching is not a casual chat, but it is not a strict therapy either. Good coaches keep within the framework: start and end sessions with precision, discretion, confidentiality and professionalism. But at the same time people they will stay and adapt to you.
How do you see the professional yet human operation?
- If you need, you can adapt your schedule.
- If you feel that he or she is "there" and not just facilitating an occasion.
- Maintain confidentiality, even after the coaching is over.
👉 Tip: If the coach is constantly slipping, mixing topics or being lax with appointments, this is not a good sign.
7. He is constantly improving, educating himself - because he cares about you
A good coaches do not stop at a basic training course. They know that the human soul and behaviour changesand so is the world. That's why they seek improvement, learn, go for supervision and are open to new methods.
And why is this important to you? Because you can be sure that an up-to-date, ethical and development-oriented approach are supported by.
👉 TipA: Feel free to ask what training he has attended or if he has a supervisor. A good coach will be proud to answer.
Summary - how to recognise the good coaches?
If I had to sum it up in one sentence: a good coach will help you discover yourself - not by guiding you, but by supporting you, asking questions and being there for you.
The best coach not the biggest name, not most Insta-followers, but the one who works for you. Who you can open up to, who you can work with - who helps you to become the best version of yourself.
Final thought: trust first impressions, but allow time
Many times you feel from the first minute "yes, it's him". Other times it takes a few times. That's perfectly fine. Take your time. And don't stay where you don't feel comfortable. A good coaches are not offended if you don't choose them. They respect your choice.
Why is this important?
Because coaching is an investment. Not just money, but time, energy and self-work. Make the right choices and your life can change. Get it wrong, and you'll lose your taste for it all.
And believe me: there are great, good coaches. You just have to find them.
Help with your search: questions you can ask yourself
When you are looking for a coach, ask yourself (or him or her) these questions:
- How do I feel talking to him?
- Are you interested in me or are you just talking in generalities?
- Are you asking? And if so, which ones?
- Do I feel that you are watching me?
- Can I trust him?
- How do you react when I get insecure?
If your answers to these questions are mostly positive, you are probably in the right place.
How do I know if a coach is really a good coach?
A good coach listens to you, doesn't judge you, doesn't give you ready-made solutions, but helps you find your own answers by asking questions. It's also important that you have the right qualifications, regularly develop your skills and keep within professional and ethical boundaries. If after the first conversation you feel safe and can open up honestly, chances are you have found a good coach.
What is the difference between a good coach and a mentor or adviser?
A good coach does not give advice, but supports you to you figure out your own solutions. The mentor shares his/her own experiences, the adviser gives concrete guidance. A coach asks questions, holds a mirror up to your own inner resources and helps you to deepen your understanding - that's what makes your development sustainable and personalised.
What can I ask at the first meeting to find out if I have chosen the right coach?
Feel free to ask:
- What methods do you use?
- Do you have a supervisor or ongoing professional training?
- What do you mean by "successful coaching process"?
- How many sessions do you usually sign up for and what results are you aiming for?
These will quickly show you how professional you are and whether you fit in humanly. A good coach open and happy to answer for these.
Want to get started?
On CoachLab.hu experienced, qualified, good coaches you can choose from. Check out their profile, read their blog, and take the first step - contact us.
👉 Remember: a good coach doesn't tell you, but shows you that you have all the answers.
